March 24, 2005

I am very sorry

(We interrupt this baseball-related blog to bring you some late-breaking hockey news.)

I have let you down and I am very sorry.

I was walking in the underground tunnel that connects the 49th St. R/W station to Rockefeller Center, on the way to get an autograph from the Fabulous Moolah (that's right, I'm name-dropping). The tunnel's probably well travelled during rush hour, but it was after 6 and pretty empty.

I turned a corner, took a couple of steps, and there he was, yakking away on his cell phone.

Gary Bettman.

Yep, the evil Commissioner of the NHL. And me. Alone. In a low-traffic pedestrian tunnel. With no witnesses.

I froze and I am very sorry.

It took me a second to place the weasely little face, and by the time I did, he was past me and probably on his way to kick a puppy or strangle a small child. Oh, the blow I could have struck for the suffering hockey fan. A sharp kick to the groin. A crisp hook to the jaw. A Purinton-like sucker punch.

And the only possible witnesses would have been those lingering in the closest office...the Office of the Canadian Consulate General. Surely, they would have looked the other way.

But I did nothing. I have failed the Angry Hockey Fan. I have failed myself.

I am very sorry.


Blogger The Commissioner said...

Oh God, Jimmy, that brings up a lot of feelings I thought I'd successfully repressed. News of the draft cancellation this morning only brought with a flicker of sadness.
But this - this hurts. I remind you, of course, this was your Second chance in life to paste that asshole. Next time it's three strikes, Jimmy.
Don't be a Mike Cameron.


10:04 PM  

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