November 30, 2005

Welcome Back ...

For a special weeklong return to the world of temporary blogging.
This time, I've got more coffee and even less free time. Enjoy it
while it lasts.

Here is a summary of this and last week's baseball-related
emailings,printed without permission or authorization. Sorry.
Most of 'em are from me anyway. Too much coffee.

Anyway, here they are, in order of posting.

From the Commish:

On the Mets:
I actually like both moves made; and the money was there considering
Piazza's gone, Cameron's gone and all kinds of other shit from the
Bad Bad Past came off the books this offseason.
So, if they signed one of the non-descript catchers they're pursuing,
resigned a few guys, picked up a middle reliever - I'd be fine and not
feel like I was watching the Jr. Yankees next year. But it's this
incessant talk of dumping Milledge, picking up, god I can't even type
it, Manny Manny, or Zito, or whatever, that's irritating. Jesus God,
let this thing develop. You've got a few good young players, a kick-ass
1B, a decent rotation, a real closer for a change and one of the best
prospects in the game, supposedly. I'm not a fan of overhyping
prospects and keeping them in-loo (ho ho) of real, proven players, but
hey, Wright's turned out pretty good, you know (I should scout for
these fuckers - he's the only player I've seen in Binghamton the last
8 years I knew (knew!) was going to be a real ballplayer and, lo and
behold, he is grandpa! he is).
So, I like Omar, but he drinks too much coffee or something. Take it
easy padna; people aren't Mets fan because they can't handle being the
"red-headed stepchild," or "second-class citizens" in New York. It's
because all those years of dealing with that Shit pays off when an
underdoggish team wins something and makes Us All Feel Good about being
Chumps. Or something. It feels better when it's "natural," a theory
that applies to so many things (breasts, especially, and baseball).

From the only in New York file: For the love of Fuck they have a team

policy on the Gaddawful "America's Pretty" song? But the best part is:
a day after Delgado signs, some Jack Ass in Newsday writes a column
telling Carlos he won't be "everything he could have been" because he
decided to follow team policy and stand for the stupid song. Thanks for
that. Duly noted. Now go punch an old woman in the face you goddamn
leech. Four hours he's been here. Four! Or 24! It doesn't matter. It's
a song. I don't care if it's team policy to have the American Flag
tattoed on your ass at Spring Training. It's baseball. Never the twain
shall meet.
So that's my cup of coffee this morning.

From Little Jimmy:
Regardless of how good Delgado ends up being for
the Mets (and I don't think he'll be that great), the Marlins should
be abolished. Nevermind moving the team in 2008. Just fold already.
Enough of these almost yearly salary dumps.
As for the actual trade, I'm not too keen on it. But because it's New
York and we have to overspend on marginal talent just to satisfy the
average 45-year-old crank who calls up the 'FAN every night so he can
bitch to some gravelly voiced sports radio guy, I guess it's not so
I still think Delgado's not a big-market player, regardless of what
guys in Toronto say. I also wish the Mets would go after B.J. Ryan
instead of throwing $30 million at Billy Wagner, but that's another
story entirely.
I do hope the Mets don't have to pay the bulk of Delgado's salary,
'cause his contract is ridiculous for a guy who's done fairly good on
fairly bad teams.
I wonder what it's like to be a Pirates fan, knowing that building from
within is your only shot at ever making the playoffs, and that you
can't throw money at free agents, or trade for high-priced talent, or,
well, do much of anything.
And, in closing, I wish Glen Sather would go back to coaching the Rangers.

From The Commish: Mets fans, if you spit up in your coffee this morning,
at least take the time to go to and read the interview with
reporters from the Toronto Sun before you convince yourselves Carlos Delgado
is going to scowl his way through a Mo Vaughnesque .241, 18 hr, 76 RBI
line this year.
Having seen Petit pitch twice last year, I will say Omar The Looking
Better Every Day seems to have made a pretty good deal. Yes, Delgado is
a free agent, or can request a trade or something complicated, at the
end of the year. But it sounds like the Marlins somehow paid for
Jacobs? I think, and took on some of Delgado's salary.
Anyway, using the Bill Simmons (the link is dead)
corollary, which he used to make himself feel better about picking up
Just .500 Josh from the Marlins, (for some reason I keep typing
Marlines; what does it mean?), (another aside for those of who don't
like cutting and pasting: The Bill Simmons corollary, in summary,
states that you almost always win when trading "superior prospects" for
established talent because the list of so-called "superior prospects"
from the last ten years plays like a Where's Waldo? find the regular
Big Leaguers game - Ok, back to our original point) this seems to me,
you, they like a good deal. Big bat, crappy defense (so what? pick up a
2nd baseman with range and they've still got the best infield in the
league; the worry is, of course, right field and the
not-as-rangey-as-advertised Carlos Part I in CF) and steadfast
opposition to the policies of our Idiot Administration. Welcome to the
What I know about Jacobs from the B-Mets beat writer at the Press:
Streaky; not as good the second time around with pitchers. Chases bad
shit. And swings at a lot of balls, too (huzzah! there's a Binghamton
sluts joke in there somewhere).
What I know about Petit from reading Mets-related publications: Sandy
Koufax is a fag. Muslims look East and see his visage rising from the
oil fires and bacon smoke at al-Qaida cookouts.
Whoops. Might have offended someone there.
What I know about Petit having seen him in action: He throws 90mph, and
it's a 90mph with Zero pop. "They" say he has a sneaky-quick fastball
and great off-speed stuff. Sneaky is good in Wiffle Ball, Little League
and maybe for half a season in Binghamton. Not good in Big Leagues. At
least he can go drinking and pissing on Pizza parlors in Florida with
Scott Kazmir and that White Guy with a Black Name the Mets had in RF a
few years ago.
Ok, it's snowing. I wanted to talk about baseball. So it goes.